It is nice to wake up in the morning, roll over, and see your spouse laying there beside you. Sometimes they frustrate you, but just having them there brings peace to your soul.
When you are a trucker’s spouse, you relish those days and hold them close to your heart except for when you are startled there is actually someone else in the bed with you.
We wake up alone, drink our coffee alone, take care of the house, the kids, the cars, the bills; we do everything. Many households take it for granted that their spouse will be there to handle things when there is a problem, we have learned to adapt. We have become single parents in a lot of ways, but forever remain faithful to that person we love.
Yet it is not an easy life. There are many nights spent crying, not only out of loneliness but out of frustration. Just like the trucker, we are on the job 24/7, and sometimes we also need a break. We feel alone, suffering from a lack of connection to anyone who understands our frustrations. We lay in bed and wonder if we are doing the right things, making the right decisions.
As hard as the Drivers believe their job is out there on the road, it is just as hard if not harder for the spouse at home. Some words to the wise, although it feels safe to vent all your frustrations on your spouse, Driver, don’t forget to let them know how much you love them and miss them. Don’t forget to let them know you understand how hard it is for them. They support you through all of your frustrations; you need to show that you support them too.
You aren’t the one who is there when your teenage son decides he isn’t coming home that night. You aren’t there when the kids are crying asking when their daddy or mommy is coming home. You aren’t there when the bill collectors are calling for their money because of the lack of miles. We are though and we handle it all. Most times you don’t even hear about those problems because we don’t want to stress you further. So we suffer in silence.
Many people don’t understand WHY we do what we do or HOW we can put up with the lifestyle. They don’t understand the sacrifices that our families make so they can enjoy everything they have. We are looked upon as trash, but we don’t have to BE trash. We smile through the comments made from family about how our spouses have deserted us and left us to do all the grunt work while they gallivant around the country. We smile at the looks that are given us when we tell people are spouses are a truck driver. We smile..then we go home and cry.
There isn’t enough support out there for the families of truckers. These families are very diverse, coming from all walks of life, different beliefs, and cultures. But we share a fundamental belief and that is to support our trucker, even, at times, if it means sacrificing more ourselves. There needs to be more support for these families. Whether through company counseling or through wives clubs established through the company. These families NEED to be able to meet and talk to others who understand their feelings and know they are not alone in their suffering.
To add to the already mounting burden, some of us are unemployed and trying desperately to find work in a suffering economy with an identity problem. We are looked at as if we are lazy and unwilling to do what it takes to support our families. Of course, that comes from ignorance and a lack of understanding of what it is like out there in the workforce today. Times have definitely changed over the last 20 years.
Most of the attitudes we witness come from ignorance. We can try and teach these people what it truly means to be part of a trucking family, but if they do not have the openness and willingness to learn, we can talk till we are blue and it will not make a difference. The best we can do is show them, by our actions, we are a force to be reckoned with. The strength required to be a trucker’s spouse is immense. The fortitude which we embody daily is not easily achieved by other people not in our position. The gratitude we have for our spouses when the walk through the door is something that is taken for granted by many.
We, as trucker’s spouses, have much to be proud of. Don’t ever allow anyone to look at you in disdain, don’t ever allow anyone to inflict words of hurt and hate upon you. You are part of an industry that enables the country you are from to sustain the society of people that inhabit it. Remember that if it wasn’t for YOUR sacrifice, many would go without.
God Bless all of our trucking families! Be safe out there!