We all wonder what the next day will bring us; will it be easy, will it be hard, will we welcome the change or run from it in fear and disillusion.

Being the wife of a trucker I have learned how to deal with these issues alone. I have come to accept, but not believe, that I am part of a second-class citizenship. I have learned how to deal with the disappointment and loss of friends because they don’t understand what my husband is out there doing, and why. I have accepted that I don’t get invited by friends anywhere because my husband is never home. Thereby I spend much time alone, by myself, thinking. I have learned to accept that family is not always what they say it is.

Being the wife of a trucker is not easy, not always enjoyable, not always fun, and definitely not for the faint of heart. I go to bed alone, wake up alone, eat alone everyday. I have redefined what I always considered marriage to be; what is important and what isn’t. I have redefined what friendship and family is. Who is important to me and who isn’t. Being the wife of a trucker has turned my whole life inside out and has exposed the truth about myself and about my husband.

I have learned who I am AND who I am NOT.

I am a person who cares deeply, perhaps too deeply, about my friends and family. I am a person of immense strength and endurance, one of loyalty and compassion. I don’t judge others by the path they are walking, because there are many paths to where we are all going. While I came from a place of deep insecurity, through the help of those people I care about, I am secure in the knowledge that I will always prevail regardless of what crosses my path. I am independent, quiet, observing, watchful, contemplative and yet at the same time, zany, crazy, impulsive, and silly.

I know what I want in this life and I will stop at nothing until it comes to fruition, even if I have to carry the cross on my own. I am who I am and I am proud of it. Those who don’t understand that, don’t understand me. I am not afraid anymore to be exactly that. I am not afraid to face life in its entirety no matter what it may bring. While my husband may be gone 98% of the time, he is always in my heart, he is always with me and I am never truly alone.

Being the wife of a trucker has enabled me to understand this about myself and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. While I may feel lonely, at times, and feel as if I could just run away from it all, I am too strong for that.

As a dear friend once told me, that which I will never forget:

“Even if you lost every penny you have ever made….you all still have each other and your friends. No Mary, you are too strong to give up…you are a warrior and a lion….Remember….lions and warriors don’t know they are lions and warriors….they feel the same defeats as everyone else….it’s how they maintain themselves during defeat that proves themselves.”

Whenever I am in doubt, I look at these words and breathe in deeply all the strength I need to face anything that comes my way. The Lion rears its head and roars, daring the world to take her down.